Control...

One of the things that has burdened me this week has been my lack of control over my situation. I like to be in control. Who doesn't? I feel helpless...like all of this is for nothing. Like there is no point and no one watching over this situation. But I know that is not true. Sometimes I just need some reminders. 

A book that I've been reading (on and off for tooooo long...I obviously need to buckle down and read the whole thing!) is  Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment. This is how the author describes two verses that she has memorized and made a commitment to live them....
***********************************************
"First, 
God ... is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings, and the master of all masters. (1 Timothy 6:15). 


I meditated on the truths in this verse. Who controls my life? God. What kind of a controller is He? Blessed. In the words of the the well-known therologian J.I. Packer, "Contentment is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand what He sends because we know that He is good and therefore it is good." 

The second verse was Psalm 16:5:
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. 
Speaker and author Elisabeth Elliot make this thought-provoking statement about Psalm 16:5 
I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us that do not belong to our lovingly assigned "portion" ("This belongs to it, that does not")? Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion other options are canceled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter. A quiet heart is content with what God gives." (pages 16-17)
********************************
This week I have had a turbulent, loud heart. I feel myself lost in a fog of discontent. I've cried and moaned with the thoughts of the past year and the year to come. But, I know noticed another thing: My Bible has stayed open more in the past week than it has in a while. I have actively sought the Lord this week because it is in these times that there is no where else that comfort can come. 

You may have noticed a button on the side of my blog for a book called Radical. Fantastic book. In it is a quote (that I've actually seen on other blogs recently) that I think sums up what good is to come of this week...

God actually delights in exalting our inability. He intentionally puts his people in situations where they come face to face with their need for him. In the process, he powerfully demonstrates his ability to provide everything his people need in ways they could never have mustered up or imagined. And in the end, he makes much of his own name.

I ask for your prayers this week/weekend as I emerge from the sadness and move forward. It's raining right now, but I'm looking forward to some sunny days.