What A Weekend!

It is so nice to be sitting quietly in front of my computer. This weekend has been crazy! Our class Friday night was W-I-L-D. Lexie was trying so hard to teach the "DaisyMae" painting we did that night and people were singing SO loud she just shrugged and said "Ok, I guess we're singing now!" So fun :) Saturday started out good, until I realized that I stood Ashley up for lunch (sorry Ash!). We just ended up drinking coffee and hanging out at my mom's store waiting on the kids class to start.

We hosted a kid's birthday party at PTT Saturday afternoon and painted the cute little owl tree above (AKA "Hootie") with kids ranging ages 5 to 12. They were such a cute bunch of kids! Here's how theirs turned out....

Some of our friends came in town so we left there and went directly to El Tap for some much needed "girl time." Random story: I went to the restroom at EL Tap and heard a little voice saying..."who's in he-ah?" I answered, "Rachel." Little girl (who is in a stall and I can't see): "Oh, I just thought it was my fwiend. We ahh having a giwl's night tonight!" (she can't say her R's). She proceeded to name for me all of her friends and she didn't know if they were going to spend the night or just watch a movie and asked if I had a lot of friends. It was the cutest thing :) I had to inform my table that we were not the only girl's night out in town!

After we left the restaurant, several of my friends received phone calls for one reason or another and received disturbing news that turned our girl's night into a cry fest. But isn't it good to have good friends to cry with? I love my girlfriends and hope that I can always be there for them as they are for me. It was so good to see them at church this morning and praising the One that their true joy comes from.

Have a happy lazy Sunday :)

"The Lord Your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with His love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:16b-17

Sippin from the Saucer...

I don't think my husband will ever post on this blog, so I'm going to add some of his own words. He sent me this in an email yesterday and showed that he really does have a peace that "transcends all understanding."

"I think that God has a plan and we may never know what it is. As for me, I am going to praise him for who he is, what he does, and what we can become through him. I don’t know why we have not been given what is the desire of our hearts. I don’t know why we are made to suffer while the world seems to move past us by. I do know that we should count it as a blessing that God thinks enough of us both to bring about situations in our lives that will draw us to him.

You are all the earthly family I’ll ever need. If God lets us in on the plan, I’ll follow it. If you get a feeling about what we should do, I’ll listen.

God has not failed us, science has. Your body is perfect just the way God made it. You have talents and gifts that the world will experience in the way God intended them to in time.

I love you more than words can express. Join me in worshiping God for who he is, what he does, and what we can become through him."

My cup is overflowing...and I'm sippin' from the saucer.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habakkuk 3:17-19

Negative

I went for the beta test this morning and it was negative.
No baby this month.
I don't really have anything to say, so here's what I'm reading.....

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express" Romans 8:26

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Thought outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

And last but not least....

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Psalm 147:3

Thank you for your prayers.

Ode To Bronco and The One Day Wait

This is my best friend Ashley's furry son, Bronco. Today he went to Petco for a little grooming and tomorrow he goes under the knife. Poor baby. We love you, Bronco and you are going to still be a man in our eyes!

Tomorrow, Mom and I will make our early morning journey to Brookwood so I can have blood drawn and go back home. Say a little prayer for us traveling and for my state of mind waiting on that phone call! Have a wonderful day!!

Good Day...But Not Over Yet!

This week has been pretty good. I've battled a sore throat (which I know my co-workers are ready for me to lose!), but overall it has been pretty decent. I have a new Service Guild project this year at GSCC helping adults study for their GED. They are such a blessing. They probably think I'm the biggest dork because I get so excited over direct objects and comma placement :) That was a highlight.

Also, my husband sent me flowers at work (which my friend Katie got to deliver). The card said "Matthew 11:28-30" (which is "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light").He knew where my mind was this week. I don't deserve that man.

This week flew by (just like I wanted it to!) and tonight we have Paint The Town. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to think that my other job is to hang out with my friends, paint pretty pictures, and meet new people. (Also, there is plenty of dancing and singing). We are painting a repeat tonight, which usually makes for an easier evening. I love these girls and I'm so blessed to have them as my friends (that includes our honorary PTT-ers, Ashey and Jsho!)
I have my first blood beta test Wednesday morning at 7. Prayers, Prayers Please!

Recalling Mighty Acts

I read something in "Daniel" by Beth Moore yesterday that I thought I would share. When I pray I forget to do this and I think it is so powerful! (From Page 184)....

Daniel not only knew himself. More importantly, he knew his God. He knew his was a God who kept covenant promises. A righteous God. A great and mighty God who wielded His strong arm and delivered the people out of Egypt. And in Daniel's estimation, the same God who delivered the Israelites from Egypt could deliver the Israelites from Babylon. Do we pray like that? Do we rehearse the mighty acts God has performed in the past as we request His intervention in the present? The prayer warriors of the Word often couple their requests with remembrances like a lawyer cites a precedent before the judge hearing the case. As you make your request, start recalling in prayer God's mighty acts in the past, both the scripture and in your life. Your faith will grow and God will be pleased to see you exercise your humble but powerful position as His child.

Have a wonderful day and I pray God blesses you with a "mighty act" :)

God's Reminder

I find myself asking daily,
"God, why must we go through all this pain?
Please remind me of the reason
my faith in you should still remain.

I feel the rain will never clear
and the clouds will never part.
Please give me a reminder
that I am dear to your heart!"

He reminds me of the blind man
and the burden he had to bear.
People demanded to know who sinned,
was this punishment even fair?

Jesus replied that he had not sinned
and his parents had not brought this strife.
But this had happened so
God's work would be displayed in his life.

He has promised His grace is sufficient,
His power made perfect when we are weak.
So I'll delight in my difficulties,
His power and peace I will seek.

Let my misery become a ministry,
to give God glory when things look grim,
for my soul finds rest in God alone,
my salvation comes from Him.

John 9:32
2 Cor 12:9-10
Psalm 62:1

I wrote this in my quiet time this morning and thought I would share.
Have a wonderful day!

Double Dippin'

My husband and I have been doing the Bible study on Daniel (Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy) by Beth Moore the past nine weeks. It's been great and it's fun to watch him watch her :) Going at our own pace has been fun because sometimes we've watched a video after five days (but sometimes it takes us 8!) Our small group started back tonight and we are doing the study of Esther by Beth Moore(Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman : Member). If you have ever done one of her studies, you know how important (and sometimes very long) the homework is sometimes. For the next two weeks I'll be doing both studies (whew!)

No news on the fertility front. Taking Progesterone and trying not to be a total crazy woman. I'm hoping that this week will be calm and pass very quickly.

It was so great to see all my girls tonight! We even had a guest (JSho) that stopped by :) Looking forward to getting back in my Monday night groove!

H & P

My appointment on Tuesday had me with 4 small follicles, so I had to do one more shot last night. I went back to ART this morning (5:45 - Thanks Ashley! You deserve more than Starbucks!!) and two of the follicles had REALLY grown!! My nurse gave me a high five (it was so cute). Tonight, Mama Dana gave me my "trigger" shot and I should ovulate some time in the next 12-24 hours.

It is just now becoming clear to me that I really may have some hope this month. I'm excited to see what is in store for us. It has been a long journey. I realized the other day that all of the blogs I read (and there's a lot of them out there) all do a recap of what they've tried, etc. Well, here's ours....

September 2007 - Started trying

February 2008 - Asked OB/GYN to do tests, she ignored us

October 2008 - Changed OB/GYN and started tests.

November 2008 - Discovered I had high Prolactin and started Bromocriptine

February 2009 - Femara - Negative

March 2009 - Femara- Negative

April 2009 - Femara- Negative

May 2009 - Clomid- Negative

June 2009 - Clomid- Negative

July 2009 - Started with RE

August 2009 - Follistim 100 IU for 6 days, HCG Shot , 8/24 Positive Pregnancy Test,8/27 Negative Pregnancy Test

September 2009 - Started meds, SIS on 9/2/09 showed polyps, started Birth Control Pills 9/23/09 surgery for polyps and endometriosis removed

October 2009 - Loestrin 24 (Birth Control Pills)

November 2009 - Follistim 150, Menopur 75 for eight days, HCG, 11/14 IUI - Negative

December 2009 - Loestrin 24, SIS on 12/7 showed pseudopolyps and cysts

January 2010 - Bravelle 150, Menopur 75 for seven days, HCG

There's my Infertility History and Physical :) If only I had room to put all the tears, laughter, joy, anger, prayers, phone calls, sleepless nights, exciting stories, encouragement, disappointments, car rides, waiting rooms, questions, and answers in between those dates. What a long journey it has been.

Thank you for traveling it with me.

My soul finds rest in God alone; My salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62: 1-2

Departure Time: 5:45 AM

What on Earth would I do without this woman? (and her dog, too...I guess) My Mom is my riding buddy for those early morning trips to the doctor. We leave town at around 5:45 in the morning, drive over an hour, stay for 20 minutes, and drive back. I love my time with her in the morning. We drink our coffee (unless I'm NPO for a test, of course) and talk about everything. She never complains about how early it is or how long it takes to get there. She brings her magazine or newspaper and waits patiently in the waiting room. I'm sure all the hormonal women and their nervous husbands in the waiting room give her a little entertainment, too :) We will be on our way tomorrow morning to have my follicles measured and blood work done. Tonight I take my last shots.

Thanks for riding with me, Mommy. ILYTBATMITWWW!

"Her children arise and call her blessed..." Proverbs 31: 28

To Market We Go....

I went to Market in Atlanta with Mom, Trenia, and Jan this weekend. We had a GREAT time! We ate our way through the gourmet food temporaries, visited mom's vendors (aka: tissue paper, bags, and baskets: boring), and touched about 50 million scarves. I bought five. I also had Starbucks....a lot. It takes caffeine to fuel these trips!

It's weird that the fertility stuff doesn't pause just because you leave town. I had to pack my drugs in a lunch box with an ice pack to inject last night. Two more nights to go.

Happy Sunday!

Snow Day

It looks from the picture that we had a snow day, but don't let this dusting fool you. It was business as usual here. I worked at the hospital (Thanks, Ash!) and at the nursing home today. The best accomplishment of the day: I got most of my Christmas decorations down! I still need to take the trees apart, but the rest is packed up!

I started my shots last night, so I still have 4 more nights of shots. Hopefully the rest will arrive tomorrow. I am trying to stay positive this month, but as usual, I don't want to get my hopes up.

I'm watching the rest of the BCS National Championship game right now. I know that I should be glad that Alabama won, but as an Auburn grad and season ticket holder: it is impossible. This is going to be a hard year to be a tiger :(

War Eagle, anyway!

Door Opened, Door Closed...

My appointment with Dr. Long on Tuesday went pretty well. Even with 3 cysts on each side, he still thinks that we should go ahead with the Ovulation Induction (OI). I actually got to see him and ask questions. I told him about our insurance not paying for the drugs anymore. (Our insurance paid for some of our injectable drugs for 3 months then sent us a letter stating that they "accidentally" paid for them and they would no longer be paying for them...thanks Caremark!) The nurse then brought all of the Bravelle that I needed and said, "We thought we also may have some Menopur, but we don't....here ya go!" I nearly passed out. That just knocked about a grand off of our fertility tab for the month!

Instead of calling Caremark, I ended up ordering from Freedom Fertility. (sidenote: If you are a person on fertility drugs reading this and know of a great place to buy and pay out of pocket...email me!) That turned into..."oops, the FedEx truck just left, lets see if someone could courier a vial to you then the rest can come on Thursday." To which I said, "I know you live in Boston and life continues like normal if it snows, but it may snow on Thursday and my town is going to shut down if it does."

She sent me 3 vials. :)

So the door opened. I can't worry about paying for drugs because they were literally dropped into my lap. So, the door that was closed.... Follow this connection: A patient that I have has a mother whose cousin is pregnant and due in April. DHR is going to take the baby. A couple of weeks ago she asked if I wanted the baby. What?!? You're offering me a baby?? Spoke to my husband and he said we would pray about it. On the way home from the doctor's office I got a call that the baby's daddy's parents want the baby. Door closed.

So a new month begins. I'm guarding my heart for sure, but I'm excited to see what God has in store for this month.

I'm going to go to the window to see if it's snowing yet :)

Right Now I'm Feeling Like....

A hermit crab. Starting the day before new year's eve I feel like I shut down. I know it was because every new year's you kinda of do a self evaluation. There are some things I'm proud of from this year: growing in my faith, starting a new business, etc. But when it comes down to it: I'm 30. And childless. I guess I was in the mood for a pity party. I go to Dr. Long tomorrow. I'm supposed to have my baseline done as well as a check-up with him. After last month's SIS/infection, he wanted to see me. I'm going by myself, but I am expecting the worse (with the pain I've had) so if there's even slightly encouraging news,it will be a good day.

I did some PRN work at a nursing home tonight. I'm always thoroughly entertained when I go there. Tonight was no different. The best was a lady who told me she didn't want anything to do with me and my "associate"....then pointed behind me. Of course there was nothing there, but she was convinced that I was someone else and unfortunately she did not like them (or the imaginary person behind me).

Happy New Year and I'll come out of my shell soon :)