Weekend...Whew!

Fun weekend! The baby shower was great! Stephanie received a lot of precious things and it was wonderful to see my girls :) BTW, please remind me to NEVER wear this dress in pictures ever again...this pattern is making me look wide!
Here are some pictures (including my diaper cake and tissue paper puffs!)...Last night was movies with my man. We saw the new Mel Gibson movie. I fell asleep during it, but what I saw was good (but the language is terrible!) This morning church was great and we had a guest teacher in Sunday School that was very influential in the lives of our friends Marianna and Drew through Campus Outreach. It was great to see all of them together and hear about what God has done in their lives.
This afternoon was Cy's 2nd Birthday Party. It was a dump truck extravaganza and the babies were so cute (as were my friends :) Thanks for the fun, Lex!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday night!

A Late Start and Fun Ahead!

I never oversleep. Never. Ever. But this morning I woke up, stretched out my arms, thought to myself "I feel so rested. Look at that beautiful sunshine!" SUNSHINE?!? Looked at the clock: 7:55. I have to be at work at 8. Panic mode sets in and I call my secretary who informs me my first patient is at 10:30 and "Rachel, if you picked a day to sleep in you picked a good one." Whew!Work was good today. Very pleasant (aside from the 5 year old who informed me he was going to beat me up [which came out as "I gonna bee you uh!!!"]) I made about a zillion tissue paper flower balls for a shower. More on those later...

This weekend is the baby shower from one of my best friends from high school, Stephanie (AKA: T-Dog). She is having a baby girl named Zoe soon and we can't wait to meet her! I'm very fortunate to still have friends in my life that have been with me since we were in elementary school. I wouldn't trade them for the world and I'm so excited to see them this weekend. Here are some highlights from us growing up together (most of these are of Stephanie, the mommy to be, and the hostesses for the shower :)

Birthday Parties (circa 1987- Meredith, Me, Stephanie)
Halloween (circa 1988 - Stephanie, Me, and little sister Jen - what are you doing,Jennifer?)
Middle School Dance (I love it! That is my husband in the front!)
Ninth Grade (Stephanie and Me)
Danceline (I'll show you best of the best!)
Home From College (circa 1999?)
All Grown Up!

Someone asked me how I'm going to handle being at a baby shower this weekend considering our current baby-less state. Well, I know for a fact that there will be at least 5 people at this shower that will body slam anyone who begins bugging me about having kids and I'm not going to let infertility rule my life. End of story :)

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thursday!!

ps: before you become amazed at my collection of old photos, I have a confession to make: My sister and I scanned 90% of our family photos and stored them on Picasa for my parents last year :) Merry Christmas, again Mom and Dad!

Whew!

How much can things change in a day?

My phone appointment with Dr. Long could not have gone any better. I said everything I wanted to say, asked everything I wanted to ask, and heard everything I needed to hear (except: "Rachel, you're pregnant!" ...maybe next month:)

He started out by saying, "Are you freaked out?"
Me: YES!
He then told me these things:

• My surgery is not as urgent as I thought. He said we could wait and keep an eye on the endometrioma for a few months. Whew!
  
• He told me that he was beyond surprised that I was not pregnant this month...he was convinced from my scans and numbers that I would be.
• He said for me not to give up on my body, because he hasn't.
  
• He said that if I did have surgery it probably would not include a D&C. Whew!
• But the biggest thing he said was, "I could tell that there was something that you wanted to say when I saw you. What was it? What do YOU want to do?"

I don't think I've ever had a doctor say those words to me.

I told him that I would like to take the month off of the drugs and keep an eye on the endometrioma. If I wasn't pregnant this month: do April with drugs and if the endometrioma changed then we would talk surgery.

He said that it was a "wonderful, healthy idea." Praise the Lord! He told me that we've been "kicking the ovaries for months" and maybe they could handle this month on their own. I asked if I should come in for monitoring or take the progesterone at the end of the month. He said no. He wants to see what my body will do and he said (my favorite) "I would not be a bit surprised if you wound up pregnant this month."

I wanted to cry I was so relieved and happy. So, today is day 2 of a drug free month. No extra hormones, no shots, no driving to Birmingham. Just me and my husband (and a trusty Clearblue Easy Ovulation Monitor).

YES!

I read this in my Streams in the Desert and loved it (I love old-fashioned poetry....) It's from Page 26 and the author is anonymous...

Is there some problem in your life to solve
Some passage seeming full of mystery?
God knows, who brings the hidden things to light.
He keeps the key.

Is there some door closed by the Father's hand
which widely opened you had hoped to see?
Trust God and wait - for when he shuts the door
He keeps the key.

Is there some earnest prayer unanswered yet
or answered NOT as you had thought 'twould be?
God will make clear His purpose by and by
He keeps the key.

Have patience with your God, your patient God,
All wise, all knowing, no long lingerer He,
And of the door of all your future life
He keeps the key.

Unfailing comfort, sweet and blessed rest,
To know of EVERY door He keeps the key.
That He at last when just HE sees is best
Will give it THEE.

Thank you, God, for that comfort in knowing YOU are in control.

Happy Wednesday!

The Best Laid Plans...

I think this is the longest I've gone for a while without blogging. It's been a long few days.

My doctor's visit did NOT go as planned. I went with my friend Katie to my visit yesterday. We left super early (thanks, Katie!) and dropped my car off at the dealership to have work done and rushed over to Brookwood. I got there before 10 because, as every good ART girl knows, blood work done before 10 gets same day results. They decided I needed to see Dr. Long first.

I got back to his office (bookcase office, not exam room) sat down and he dropped the bomb on me. The one "cyst" they've been seeing on my ultrasound was actually an endometrioma. A big ball of endometriosis. He has decided that I need to have SURGERY to get it out. WHAT???

I sat there absolutely dumbfounded. I thought everything was going well. I responded well to the drugs, my ultrasounds (I thought) were coming up really clear, all my levels have been great, I haven't been having pelvic pain. Everything was great. So great, I thought I could go it on my own this month. All of this was running through my head. So much so that I sat there and asked ZERO questions. It came out of left field.

After that I was whisked off to have the pap smear. I sat in the room and fumed. I was MAD. Casey (one of the sweet nurse pracs) came in and I unloaded on her. I asked a zillion questions. She asked if I asked the doctor these questions. "Well, No" She said I needed to ask him. Here's the problem: I am terrible TERRIBLE with doctors. And I work in a hospital. I get in the mentality where I'm thinking "You went to medical school. I didn't. I trust you" and forget to be an advocate for myself. He had explained to me that if I have endometriosis creeping up in my ovaries, it's probably all over my other organs again. If he takes it out now, he will have a smaller chance of damaging my ovaries and other organs. And the big ball of it may prevent the eggs from moving well. BUT, surgery = months of birth control and lost months of TTC.

I talked to a nurse today (I couldn't bear to talk to them yesterday) and she is setting me up to talk to Dr. Long on the phone tomorrow.

Please pray that I will have the courage to ask him my long list of questions and be an advocate for myself. That I will know that questions to ask and be discerning on our plans for the surgery. I am so confused and absolutely shell-shocked right now. If you have any suggestions for questions that I can ask him, please let me know.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

"He will cover you with His feathers and under His wings you will find refuge. His faithfulness will be your shield."
Psalm 91:4

Addendum: I will be on the phone with Dr. Long at 1:30 Wed. afternoon. Prayers welcome!

Out of the Funk

Ok. I'm done. Done with the funk. Back to reality. One thing I have noticed: You would think that after all this time that this time of the month would hit me harder and harder. Especially because if you start counting...we've been through it 29 times. 29 months of our lives - gone. But instead, I notice that they've become shorter. My husband said that he can now go through all stages of grief within four hours (he also said that should be some kind of record :)

My funk began at about eight o'clock Friday night and ended around five o'clock Saturday. That's pretty good! I give all the glory to God that I can climb out of that pit of self-pity, self-doubt, and overall grief and sadness within a 24 hour period. Not to say that everyday I am happy or everyday I am stress free or not grieving, but overall I think I can trust God with the big picture. Thank you, Lord!

Church was such a blessing this morning. Ok, I have a confession to make. I'm not particularly fond of guest missionary speakers. There I said it. In the past, most have been longwinded and boring. BUT, today was an exception. Bryan Brown from Campus Outreach (who has been with MTW in Australia, about to move to Atlanta) spoke this morning. One of his main points was to regain the energy and love of the Gospel that we had as new believers. That we should learn to love Jesus more and in turn it will give us a heart to tell others. I know that may sound simple, but it is very easy to loose the "Awe" that young Christians have. Very convicting, Love it.

The other blessing was through my very, very talented friend Katie (also on of my Paint The Town partners).

She sang a song this morning called "If You Want Me To" that was so wonderful I wanted to share...

Watch/Listen to Ginny Owens sing it here
and here are the words...

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason
why You brought me here
But just because You love me
the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to


Chorus: Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials
bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire

If You want me to

It may not be the way
I would have chosen
When you lead me through
a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer
my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering
Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Thank you, thank you, thank you my sweet Katie for that song.

Game night was wonderful. I laughed until my face hurt. What a combination of old friends, even older friends, new friends, old loves, and new relationships. We need to do this more often and I love ya'll! Have a wonderful Sunday!!

Joy comes in the Morning

I have been so weepy today! I told my husband this morning that I feel great for 29 out of 31 days and then I'm overcome by the sadness of our reality. Not that I lose hope, not that I lose faith, I just get sad. There's no other way to say it.

He wholeheartedly agrees with the month of of meds, but I'm kinda scared to tell my doctor about it. I have an appointment on Monday and I'll see him. I have a feeling that he will suggest IVF and I'll will rebut with a "I want a month off." Not a month off where I take birth control pills...Just a month off. I hope I can have the courage to say what I need to say and not feel pressured by anyone.

Can I vent for a second? I'm so tired of advice. I am SOOOO tired of advice. I know that people mean well and they love me, but I wish that they would realize that I would rather them tell me "I don't know what to say to you right now" than to give me UNSOLICITED advice. I don't care what your second cousin's best friend's dog sitter's mother did to get pregnant. If I wanted to know, I would ask you! 1. Tired of advice.

2. Tired of the false hope. Things I don't want to hear: "this is your month", "I have a good feeling", and the mother of all false hopes: "It WILL happen". You don't know and if you could tell the future I would be asking for lotto numbers, not pregnancy advice. What I want to hear, "I'm praying for you", "If you need to talk: I'm here", or even "I don't know what to say right now."

Don't get me wrong: I am sooooo blessed by the people that God has placed in my life, but sometimes I am more hurt by these things than helped. Not that I want people around me to be Debbie-Downers or anything, but I am a realist. I am a faith + fact driven realist.

3. I don't know if I want to do IVF and I'm praying it out and I'm researching it out and if I say that I don't know why I don't want to do IVF just drop the subject. It is too early for me to talk about it and all it does is make more opportunities for unsolicited advice and opinions.

Ok, vent is over. If you are still reading, thanks for sticking with me.

I hope everyone is having a great day so far and I'm looking forward to our "game night" tonight. I plan on playing a lot of Apples to Apples!! :o)

So my verse of the day....

"Weeping may remain for a night, but REJOICING comes in the morning" or as the Message says...

"The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter"
Psalm 30:5

The Verdict Is....

Enough Said.

By the time my Monday appointment comes I'll be at least day two.Spotting Stinks and another month has past (and it is definitely not implantation bleeding per Dr. Google). We've been talking and I think I want to take a month off from the drugs. I have gained too much weight without trying to lose it. I don't exercise because it's either: a. I'm on my period and I'm too sad and crampy to work out b. I'm on injectables and I'm too uncomfortable c. Ovulation time and don't want to knock anything loose :) And then we start the cycle again. I eat to comfort myself sometimes and I'm packing on the pounds! Overall, I just feel unhealthy. I haven't been cooking enough and I need to commit to cooking more. I just want a month without excess hormones. (and so do my family and friends, probably!)

I saw this today in Streams in the Desert (I promise they are not paying me to talk about this book, but everything I'm reading is so very appropriate!) The book is full of scriptures, quotes, and poems. The book is very old (1925!) so some of the poetry is old fashioned sounding and you know I love it! Here's something to think about today.... (Author Unknown, Page 72)...

Chance has not brought this ill to me;
It's God's own hands, so let it be,
For He sees what I cannot see.

There is a purpose for each pain,
And He one day will make it plain
That earthly loss is heavenly gain.

Like a piece of tapestry
Viewed from the back appears to be
Only threads tangled hopelessly.

But in the front a picture fair
Rewards the maker for his care
Proving his skills and patience rare.

You are the Workman, I the frame.
Lord, for the glory of your Name.
Perfect Your image on the same.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Keeping the Hope Alive

I'm trying to keep the hope alive. (I think this wording shows that I've been watching tooo much Olympics!) I started spotting today. (Can you believe it, A?) 8dpIUI. It is so hard not to:

A. Get your hopes up that it is "implantation bleeding".
B. Let your hopes go down the drain. So far spotting = no baby.

How can I find that happy medium?

In my Streams in the Desert, it says...

"The psalmist said, "I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" (Psalm 27:13). He had not yet seen the Lord's answer to his prayers, but he was confident he would see, and his confidence sustained him.

Faith that believes it will see, will keep us from becoming discouraged. We will laugh at seemingly impossible situations while we watch with delight to see how God is going to open a path through our Red Sea. It is in these places of severe testing, with no human way out of our difficulty, that our faith grows and is strengthened." (page 79)

So I must believe I will see. Even if my answer is "No" this month, what is it that God is going to place in my path to accomplish this month? I pray I keep my eyes open to see it. And As Lisa said in the first comment, "The very next verse in Psalm 27:14 says "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." oh it's so hard though!" I will try to live my happy medium.

Speaking of happy, I got to be around a super happy baby tonight. I went with my friend Marianna and her two precious children to eat pizza tonight. Sarah Grace can eat more than any baby I have ever seen (I think she might have eaten more pizza than me!) I love my Laughlins!

"Evan, where is Sarah Grace's nose?"

"There it is!"

Happy Thursday!!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

160

I am not a numbers girl. I cannot remember numbers, nor can I remember their meaning. It's so bad that the CPR trainer (which by the way, I have to do tomorrow...doh!) could not get me to learn the chest compressions and breath numbers. She told me she would pass me if I just promised never, ever to do CPR on anyone.

I can do the heimlich maneuver (which one of our patients called the "Heineken maneuver" once :), just not CPR.

I finally got my progesterone results today. The nurse calls, "Rachel, your progesterone was 160." Me: "What does that mean??" Nurse: "It's Great!!" (My husband thinks there is a note on my chart that says they always must speak to me in a "happy" voice no matter what). So, continue the huge pills and see ya on Monday! Whew!

Ok, Onto random things:

My cat, Ava, is the most cold-natured animal I have ever seen.
Example One:
This is where she lays. Under a lamp. Any lamp. This one is on a bookshelf! Staying hot like a french fry. Why does she need to heat up her fur?
Example Two:The floor heat vents. Extra points if they are floor vents with sunshine coming through the windows. Why?

She looks so cold and pitiful. Our house is around 70 degrees all the time. Who knows?

This is what Charlie thinks...Please don't think I'm a crazy cat lady :(

Have a happy Wednesday!

Streams in the Desert

There is a blog that I read (and I have no idea how I originally found it!) that has been a blessing to me. It is The Sullivan's and their story is amazing (please check it out!) He frequently refers to a book he is reading and, being a bookworm, I ordered it. It is called Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. It was originally written in 1925 (!) and has been updated with NIV scripture, etc. It is a year long devotional, so I opened it to today and what do I see......

"Although I have afflicted you, ...I will afflict you no more." Nahum 1:12

A few highlights...

"If the affliction is sent to test us so that our words would glorify God, it will only end once He has caused us to testify to His praise and honor. In fact, we would not want the difficulty to depart until God has removed from us all the honor we can yield to Him"

"Even the fact that we face a trial proves there is something very precious to our Lord in us, or else He would not spend so much time and energy on us. Christ would not test us if He did not see the precious metal of faith mingled with the rocky core of our nature, and it is to refine us into purity and beauty that He forces us through the fiery ordeal."

"Just as weights of a grandfather clock, or the stabilizers in a ship, are necessary for them to work properly, so are troubles to the soul. The sweetest perfumes are obtained only through tremendous pressure, the fairest flowers grow on the most isolated and snowy peaks, the most beautiful gems are those that have suffered the longest at the jeweler's wheel, and the most magnificent statues have endured the most blows from the chisel. All of these, however, are subject to God's law. Nothing happens that has not been appointed with consummate care and foresight." (Pages 77-78)

Still no results from the progesterone, but no worries...I'm taking two HUGE pills everyday! Today was MUCH better and I'm looking forward to catching up with some old friends tonight over some sushi!! (cooked, of course!) See ya in a minute, girls! (I love you with a 30 on your head, Jsho!!)

One more thing...I got a sweet surprise from my precious friend, Bethany...Fresh Pineapple (good implantation food!) left in my mailbox and
wishes for "happy implanting"!

Thank you, sweet girl!

Happy Tuesday!

Just call me Alexander...

I want to go back to bed and try this day again! Don't get me wrong. There were a few high points. My test was uneventful, but I won't get results for a couple of days (I had it done here instead of driving to Bham). I am in a terrible mood and can't seem to do/act/say/think anything right today. I accidentally made a nurse cry that I was talking to (or according to her I was "Blessing her out"?!?) and just seemed to get mad at anything/anyone that I came into contact with. I think I need to go crawl under a rock :(

At lunch, I went home, sat down, ate a bunch of chocolate, and read my bible. Isn't that they way we're supposed to fix stuff? I settled down some after lunch. Although at one point I considered putting my pager in the trash can.

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
Proverbs 29:11

I feel like I should be writing this 100 times on the chalkboard after school.

Tonight: Small group with my girls.
Tomorrow: A new day....whew!

Where did the snow go?

That is what is left of my snowman. It looks so sad out there in the middle of the yard. I felt bad for it so I took off the scarf, hat, etc. Richard Jacks said last night that we may get 1-3 inches tonight. I can't believe it!

I hope everyone is having a very Happy Valentine's Day! We went to Bham yesterday and spent the day shopping and spent the night at the Winfrey (courtesy of our precious small group....thanks guys!!) Today, we had lunch with the in-laws to celebrate my father-in-law's birthday. It was great to see them (we live 30 seconds away from them and don't see them nearly enough!) Now I'm going to try to figure out the Paint The Town website. I wish I knew more about HTML!! Thankfully, Ashley is going to help me figure it out! (Thanks Ash...I know this is exactly how you want to spend "Valentimes" :)

I go for my progesterone test tomorrow. I can't believe this cycle will be over in a week! It really has flown by! (Pray that the lab at GRMC will be open tomorrow, no matter what the weather does!!)

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

To Cancel or Not to Cancel...

This is the snowman I made in our front yard after work today. We have been going back and forth on whether or not to have Paint The Town tonight. I think it is on for now :) We are painting a diptych tonight with couples for Valentine's Day: It should be very fun. What is it about a snow day that makes everything so much more fun? Ashley worked at the hospital with me today and we have so much fun driving around and looking at snow. We picked up Kipper, my mom's dog, and took him to see her at the store. He loved it. We were acting goofy at work and came up with this rhyme. Thought I would share :)

I wish I could remember the good comebacks
With the folks this infertile girl attracts
Giving advice and not knowing the facts
Always saying, "Just Relax!"

They always seem to make a beeline
Then about their kids they start to whine
They always give me that same old line,
"If you want kids, I'll give you mine!"

Even a stranger will always feel free
To advise on expanding your family tree
"Stand on your head!" "Drink this tea!"
"When I was your age, I already had three!"

I reply, "Thanks for your concern"
"There's always something new I can learn"
"I'll try that; I have SO much money to burn"
"And no, I can't claim the cats on my tax return"

I hear "Don't wait til you've past your prime"
"Be patient, it will happen in God's time"
"Should you be a Mom? Is it a sign?"
"Just adopt; It will happen in no time!"

So if you meet one of us girls one day,
Our anxiety, we will probably downplay.
And if you don't have the words to say,
Just give us a hug and tell us you'll pray!

On a serious note, my friend Meredith lost her grandmother yesterday. Please keep their family in your prayers! You can visit her blog by clicking on her name.

Have a great snowday Friday!

Claim It

In the third chapter of Esther, evil Haman sent out an edict that all
the Jews would be killed in eleven months.
The Jews received this message on the first day of Passover.
Isn't God's timing perfect?

My study of Esther says, "That Passover night after the edict
was posted in every province of the empire,
the Jews were reminded who they were AND
what God had done for them."
They only had eleven short months
before they were destined to be killed.
Beth Moore says, "Maybe God allows "Hamans" to come along
so we'll quit being so at home here."

What a reminder of God's merciful redemption this is
in this time of waiting? I believe everyone reading this
is waiting for something.

Remember to fill  in the blanks, "He who delivered you from ________,
can deliver you from _________." Claim it!!

I wrote this on 12/3/09 during our study of Daniel when we
were reading about the trial of the fiery furnace.

I'm ready to be delivered through this trial in my life,
but I've got to recall when God has delivered me before
and that He is ALWAYS with us!
**************************************************************************

God promised us His presence
When we walk through the fire.
What will become of our faith
As these difficult times transpire?

If we are delivered from the fire,
Our faith is built and will increase,
Showing He is the God of miracles
That His power does not cease.

If we are delivered through the fire
Our faith becomes refined
Proved genuine and transformed
By the renewing of our mind.

If we are delivered by the fire
Into the arms of our Lord,
Our faith will be perfected
And we will be restored.

For those who persevere under trials
Will receive the Crown of Life,
Remaining faithful while tested
Through all the pain and strife.

When going through these trials
And things are looking dire,
Remember God promised us His presence
When we walk through the fire.

******************************************************************
Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you; and
when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

Matthew 17:20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith.
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed,
you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there'
and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

1Peter 1:6-7 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for
a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold,
which perishes even though refined by fire may be proved
genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor
when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern
of this world,but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -
his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and
perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured
the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand
of the throne of God.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial,
because when he has stood the test, he will receive the
crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Have a wonderful Thursday!!

Lamp on Loan

I had to revisit last October today when I loaned my Halloween costume to my friend, Jennifer. She is going to a party this Friday and needed a costume. If you know me well, you know I LOVE to dress up in costumes. I think it is one of the reasons I was in a sorority! Well, A Christmas Story is one of my family's all time favorite movies. So this past Halloween, I went as the "Leg Lamp!" My sweet Aunt KJ made my costume and it got a lots of attention!! I am so very glad it is being worn again. Wear it with pride, Jennifer! It's a "major award"! LOL!

This morning went well. I was so excited to see my CNP Beth (I missed her Monday!) to talk about the "monster follicle". She did my IUI and prescribed me oral progesterone (hallelujah!) AND I got to meet RachelP from Rachel's Randomness! I recognized her immediately (and she recognized my mom, too!) She is precious! 1/2 a week until progesterone test and 1 1/2 weeks until the blood beta. I pray it will fly by! The rest of the day I snoozed on the couch (another favorite thing to do!)

Here are some more pics from Halloween (including Ashley (AKA Octomom), Katie (AKA Ricky Bobby's Wife), Tucker (AKA "Boss Dogg"), and JSho (AKA Evil Queen)).....

(Yes, that is a Gene Simmons Pumpkin :)

Have a great Wednesday!!

Make Me Bold

I've been really convicted lately about being bold in my faith. Last Thursday, I went to volunteer at the GED center and was talking with one of the participants. He was so bold with his faith. He was about 2 seconds away from sharing the gospel with me when I started talking about what church I went to, etc. Tonight, his brother told me that he didn't know what he wanted to do after getting his GED, but he knows that he wants to preach the gospel. These men have blessed me so much.

Why can't I be bold? It is time for a commitment. I wrote this in my quiet time this morning:

Why have I put my witness for you on hold?
Lord, please make me bold!

There's a hurt world out there to be consoled.
Lord, please make me bold!

Your promise of hope needs to be told.
Lord, please make me bold!

Keep fear from becoming my stronghold.
Lord, please make me bold!

Your story of grace I will no longer withhold.
Lord, please make me  bold!

Let your plan for me continue to unfold.
Lord, YOU make me BOLD!

"Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold" 2 Corinthians 3:12

We are having the IUI done at 9 AM tomorrow. Keep us in your prayers!

What a Huge Follicle You Have...

I went this morning for my follicle measuring. They want at least some of your follicles to be above 1.85 (mature enough to release an egg). The largest one I've ever had was 1.9. Today, she was scanning around and this HUGE black thing appeared on the screen. (Like the above picture) I panicked. I thought it was a cyst. But it was a follicle that was a 2.3! What? No wonder I felt so funny on the left side!

Basically, I had that one plus 2 "1.5's" on the left and "1.5" and "1.4" on the right. Enough that they told me to do my hcg "trigger" shot tonight. AND I don't have to buy any more medicine this month!! Yes!

Thank you so much for your prayers and have a wonderful Monday!!

A Super Sunday

Today was a super Sunday. Not just because of the Super Bowl :) Today was officer installation at our church and my husband was installed as a deacon. I didn't think I was going to get emotional during the service, but I got very teary. I'm just so proud of the man he has become. At the end of the installation, all the elders came to the front to lay hands on the new officers and pray over them. To see my father in law standing with his son was so moving. I pray that our future children will love the Lord. I pray that I can be a godly mother one day.

Our services over the next month are going to focus on missions and I found it very appropriate for the men who committed to "minister to those who are in need, to the sick, to the friendless, and to any who may be in distress" to be installed into their positions as we began this month. I found it very convicting this morning as our pastor spoke of our duty as Christians to take care of these people (as if I didn't read it enough in "Crazy Love"!). It is so easy for us to get so wrapped up in ourselves as we go through trials in our lives. I need to make more of a commitment to reach out to others and do the job that we, as Christians, were given.

I go for my follicle measuring appointment tomorrow morning at seven. I'm hoping they will be big enough that no more medicine will be needed!

Have a Happy Super Sunday!

PS: Please read my friend Meredith's blog today; you will be blessed!

An Award!?!

Yea! "A" from "Remember All The Way" gave me a Beautiful Blogger Award! Thank you! With this award, you nominate 7 blogs, make a link to who nominated you, and tell 7 random things about yourself. Ok, here are the nominees (in no particular order, I love them all!)...

1.Nothing Fancy (Ashley): The person who threatened my life if I didn't start a blog. My best friend who is always, always, always there for me! I love you, Ashey!!

2. While I’m waiting… (Lisa): That Lisa always has a great attitude through her situations and offers lots of encouraging words. Thank you for your precious blog!

3. The Vaughn’s (Bethany): Bethany always has a sweet story of her family and plenty of beautiful pictures of her Sterling (AKA: happiest baby on the block). Keep those pictures coming!!

4. Where’s My Stork?: Continues to come up with a funny way to look and laugh at Infertility. Honest blog with great insight! Thank you for your stories, girl!!

5. “The Only Journey is the Journey Within” (Meredith): My friend since 4 year old kindergarten :) The blog I've read the longest and currently making me want to eat better and work out! Thank you, Meredith, for your precious blog and loving support.

6. Rachel's Randomness (Rachel): My other Rachel Leigh/Lee P! Thank you for your encouragement. Your blog is growing like your heart is and I thank you that we can travel this road together :)

7. Life of Leslie (Leslie): This chick has got it going on! Leslie always has a great scripture or blessing to share. (And she's a fellow "speechie").

OK, that was easy. Now for the hard part.....

Seven Random Things About Myself:

1. My husband has been my boyfriend on and off since the first grade (and his mother was my first grade teacher). This is us in second grade :

2. I am a big dork. I LOVE to listen to NPR, watch nature shows on Discovery, and read. I also flap my arms around when I get scared or excited (no I am not autistic).

3. I have a bunch of first cousins, because my mom has five sisters and one brother.Here's that last time that we got close to getting us in a picture (2006-please note that I am holding a picture of my youngest cousin...)

4. As seen above, I accidentally went blonde for a few years (toooooo many highlights=very blonde)

5. I have 2 cats that are like my children: Charlie and Ava. Charlie weighs 21 pounds so he may be bigger than your child :)

6. I love Auburn football/tailgating and have only missed going to 5 home games since 1997.

7. I have a great small group that I’ve had for almost 4 years that is like my family.(This is the original gang from my first semester with them in 2006....and we are screaming and making faces:)

Have a great Saturday!!