When Words Fail, Tears Flow

I know it's been a while since I blogged (I've got to get back on the wagon!). I've really been struggling lately with feelings of hopelessness. I'm a week away from my 31st birthday. I started my period a few days ago. While laying in bed Monday night, It all just came on me like a ton of bricks. Then the tears started. 
I picked up a little book at an estate sale my Mom did a while back. It's a book called "For Those Who Hurt" by Charles Swindoll. On the inside is an inscription to the original owner in November of 1995. It made me wonder what was going on in this woman's life during that time. I've been reading it this week and one of the chapters called "Some Thoughts on Tears" made me reconsider the tears I've shed this week. Here it is...


"When words fail, tears flow. Tears have a language all their own, a tongue that needs no interpreter. In some mysterious way, our complex inner-communication system knows when to admit its verbal limitations.... and the tears come. 

Eyes that flashed and sparkled only moments before are flooded from a secret reservoir. We try in vain to restrain the flow, but even strong men falter. 

Tears are not self-conscious. They can spring upon us when we are speaking in public, or standing beside others who look to us for strength. Most often they appear when our soul is overwhelmed with feelings that words cannot describe. 

Our tears may flow during the singing of a great, majestic hymn, or when we are alone, lost in some vivid memory or wrestling in prayer. 

Did you know that God takes special notice of those tears of yours?

Psalm 56:8 tells us that He puts that in His bottle and enters them into the record He keeps on our lives. 

David said, "The Lord has heard the voice of my weeping."

A teardrop on Earth summons the King of Heaven. Rather than being ashamed or disappointed, the Lord takes  note of our inner friction when hard times are oiled by tears. He turns these situations into moments of tenderness; He never forgets those crises in our lives where tears were shed. 

One of the great drawbacks of our cold, sophisticated society is its reluctance to showing tears. For some strange reason, men feel that tears are a sign of weakness...and many an adult feels it's immature. How silly! How unfortunate! The consequence is that we place a watchdog named "restraint" before our hears. This animal is trained to bark, snap and scare away any unexpected guest who seeks entrance. 

The ultimate result is a well-guarded, highly respectable, uninvolved heart surrounded by heavy bars of confinement. Such a structure resembles a prison more than a home where the tender Spirit of Christ resides. 

Jeremiah lived in no such dwelling. His transparent tent was so tender and sensitive he could not preach a sermon without the interruption of tears. "The weeping prophet" became his nickname and even though he didn't always have the words to describe his feeling, he was never at a loss to communicate his convictions. You could always count on Jeremiah to bury his head in his hands and sob aloud. 

Strange that this man was selected by God to be His personal spokesman at the most critical time in Israel's history. Seems like an unlikely choice-unless you value tears as much as God does. I wonder how many tear bottles in heaven are marked with his name. 

I wonder how many bear your initials. You'll never have many until you impound restraint and let a little tenderness run loose. You might lose a little of your polished respectability, but you'll have a lot more freedom. And a lost less pride." 


Thank you so much to my friends that allow me the freedom to cry in front of them. Thank you to my husband who bears it the most. I know that God has a plan for us. It's just really hard to stay eternally minded when the months keep going by. Please keep us in your prayers.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Romans 8:26

Are you SURE it is a dress?

I have been busy every day this week trying to cram in as much "Jennifer" time as I can! She left today and I miss her already.  Just wanted to tell you about a "Rachel Moment" that I had this week. It started out bad, but then I just had to laugh at myself! I was at Old Navy shopping and found this precious dress at the FRONT of the store (ok, picture your local old navy, where are the dresses?). Tried it on, loved it, and took it to the cash register. 

The sweet couldn't-be-more-than-sixteen cashier holds up the dress and I ask her..."Are you sure that this is a dress and not a nightgown?" She responds, "Of course it's a dress." I respond with an "It was up here at the front with the other dresses...but are your SURE?"  Her response, "It is a dress. It's really cute. BUT I could never wear it because I'm a Mom." Me: "Excuse me?" Teen mom says, "Well, you know when you're holding a baby and they are always pulling on your clothes and stuff. My baby would never let me get away with wearing a dress like this without pulling it off!" Me: "Well, lucky me" 


So, I go home. I wear my dress all day Saturday: worked at the store, went shopping, etc. Then, I slip it on with a white cardigan and some little pearls and wore it to church on Sunday. Shopping on oldnavy.com today...hmmm....I wonder if there's any other cute dresses at old navy...wait, where's the dress i bought? Oh, no! It's in the sleepwear section. Well, sorry Gadsden. I wore my nightgown outside all weekend...and I might just do it again :)

She is Out!

I just want to thank everyone again so much for their prayers for Jen. She and Mom are out of the hospital and on their way to Gadsden. The liver biopsy went well yesterday, but the results won't come back for another week. I'm excited that Jen will be so close and we are ready to spoil her with some much needed TLC :) I'm ready to get over to see her, but my I'm chained to the computer right now trying to get my IPhone to update/sync (which it's been doing all night!) Thank you all so much again and I'll do a longer post later :)

Monday, Monday...

Don't you love it when one doctor thinks the other doctor has done something and the other way around? That's what happened to poor Jen today. Her liver biopsy has been moved to Monday so Mom and Jen will be camped out at the hospital over the weekend. 
When I spoke to her she was busy watching her millionth episode of "House" for the day (there is a marathon on...). She's feeling better and can eat again (they had her NPO for the biopsy). Heart rate is a little lower today. 
Thanks to Carmela for arranging for her sweet friend to go and visit today (and take some goodies, too!) And thanks again and again to precious Becca for going and visiting from Jackson, MS. It was great to hear how well Mom and Jen are doing from an outside party :) 

(Jen, Becca, and I above) 

Keep the prayers coming and have a wonderful weekend!

Great news!

Thank you all again for your prayers! Last night they removed 16 oz of fluid from jen's abdomen. Tests results are back... NO infection!! They will do a liver biopsy Friday morning to determine the severity of damage, but from her bloodwork/fluid analysis results there is a possibility that it may just be inflamation that could be controlled by diet, ect. Praise the Lord :)

Now, things to pray for:
1. Wisdom for the doctors that perform the biopsy and continue to care for her.
2. Patience and peace of mind for Jennifer and for our Mom. 
3. Safety for our sweet cousin, Becca, who is driving down from Jackson today.

Thank you again for your prayers! 

Jen Update

First of all, I want to thank all of you so much for your concern for my sister. Thank you for your sweet comments, emails, texts, and most of all, your prayers. A thoracentesis was just done to remove fluid build up in her abdomen. She has an enlarged liver and spleen. They believe that she has some form of liver disease (that is in our family medical history). She's in pain, but can have limited pain medicine because of her liver. Her heart rate is also very high.
So here's what we need to pray for:

• That her pain will be relieved and she (and my mom) will get some sleep tonight (She's in a semi-private room with a hard of hearing older lady)
• For the wisdom and compassion from the nurse's/doctor's to figure out how to fix her
• For people to come into their lives to minister to them since they are far away from family

I'm feeling very helpless right now and I want to be there so bad. My aunts and uncles have been wonderful to step in and take care of my mother's business, her home, her pets, etc. I wish there was something I could do for mom and Jen. Thank you so much in advance for your prayers for my Jennifer.

Last week and update...

It has been a week since I've blogged!! Fourth of July festivities were fun. My friend, Meredith put on a spectacular party last Thursday. Great Job, Mer! Friday night was "First Friday" downtown, so I helped my mom at the store. I could not believe the crowds! Saturday, we purchased a new sofa (thank goodness!!). Sunday was church then cookout at the Browns house (thanks Kala and Taylor!) I can't believe I have zero pictures from any of this...shame on me! Last night, we hosted a child's birthday party at Paint The Town. They painted peace signs and had lots of fun.Also, Happy Birthday to Katie today (we will celebrate this weekend!) 
Today has been drama filled with my sister being admitted to the hospital in NOLA. My mom is headed down there now, but please send a prayer up for her. I love you, Jen! That's what is going on in our world. Have a great Monday night!