My doctor's visit did NOT go as planned. I went with my friend Katie to my visit yesterday. We left super early (thanks, Katie!) and dropped my car off at the dealership to have work done and rushed over to Brookwood. I got there before 10 because, as every good ART girl knows, blood work done before 10 gets same day results. They decided I needed to see Dr. Long first.
I got back to his office (bookcase office, not exam room) sat down and he dropped the bomb on me. The one "cyst" they've been seeing on my ultrasound was actually an endometrioma. A big ball of endometriosis. He has decided that I need to have SURGERY to get it out. WHAT???
I sat there absolutely dumbfounded. I thought everything was going well. I responded well to the drugs, my ultrasounds (I thought) were coming up really clear, all my levels have been great, I haven't been having pelvic pain. Everything was great. So great, I thought I could go it on my own this month. All of this was running through my head. So much so that I sat there and asked ZERO questions. It came out of left field.
After that I was whisked off to have the pap smear. I sat in the room and fumed. I was MAD. Casey (one of the sweet nurse pracs) came in and I unloaded on her. I asked a zillion questions. She asked if I asked the doctor these questions. "Well, No" She said I needed to ask him. Here's the problem: I am terrible TERRIBLE with doctors. And I work in a hospital. I get in the mentality where I'm thinking "You went to medical school. I didn't. I trust you" and forget to be an advocate for myself. He had explained to me that if I have endometriosis creeping up in my ovaries, it's probably all over my other organs again. If he takes it out now, he will have a smaller chance of damaging my ovaries and other organs. And the big ball of it may prevent the eggs from moving well. BUT, surgery = months of birth control and lost months of TTC.
I talked to a nurse today (I couldn't bear to talk to them yesterday) and she is setting me up to talk to Dr. Long on the phone tomorrow.
Please pray that I will have the courage to ask him my long list of questions and be an advocate for myself. That I will know that questions to ask and be discerning on our plans for the surgery. I am so confused and absolutely shell-shocked right now. If you have any suggestions for questions that I can ask him, please let me know.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
"He will cover you with His feathers and under His wings you will find refuge. His faithfulness will be your shield."
Psalm 91:4
Addendum: I will be on the phone with Dr. Long at 1:30 Wed. afternoon. Prayers welcome!
Wow, I am so sorry! So sorry! I think it's good you're talking to the Dr over the phone. Write all of your questions down and then you should be good. It's also less intimidating then if you were face to face. You can do it! I will say a prayer too for all of this.
ReplyDeleteOn the book...yes I've been thinking about the restaurant story also. And wondering if that would work for me, to say a prayer for the baby. And also the Mother's Day story. I hate Mother's Day. I didn't go to church last year. I usually spend the day on the couch crying. But that story was good too. =)
Darn it!! Surgery does not sound fun....but in the long run it will be good for your ovaries. I agree to definitely write the questions down.
ReplyDeleteDANG! I hate that. I DO know this, though. My brother is a doctor. You have been around him, he is one of the goofiest people that I know. Knowing that HE is a doctor lets me know that doctors are just regular old people like you and me. That doctor is not any more special than you are, although for some reason when they have M.D. after their name we tend to think they are all-powerful and are mind-readers. SOOOO, that being said, you ask all the questions that YOU need to ask, ad nauseum if necessary. Repeat his answers out loud if you need to. This always helps me. If you don't understand his answers, ask him to clarify.
ReplyDeleteTake all of the time that you need. No one else is going to advocate for you. It is so very important that you educate yourself and your doctor is a much better source of information than Dr. Google.
On Rachel, I am so sorry! That is not at all the kind of information you wanted to hear. I HATE it when you start to think things are going well, and you are making progress only to be smacked in the face with yet ANOTHER setback. Keep reminding yourself that God knew this would happen, it didn't catch Him off guard and surprise Him like it did you. He DOES have a plan for YOU, your husband and your future children...and for whatever reason this is part of the plan. You will be on that call in about an hour and I am praying for you right now as you prepare to talk to the Dr.
ReplyDeleteThanks girls!!!
ReplyDeleteRachel, I am so so sorry. I wish we could have talked more the other day, but I didn't want to put you on the spot in front of everyone. I could tell that you were tired of being "on the spot" :) and I couldn't blame you. I hope everything went well with the doctor today. If you think of something you forgot, call him back. It is his job to answer your questions and is why he get's paid the big bucks!
ReplyDeleteI haven't even known you for a year and yet I am sitting here in tears reading of your disappointment. The Lord has been so good to us in giving us such great friends here. Thank you for the way that you and your husband minister to us. I am praying that the Lord will give you his remarkable peace as you walk through this set back, and that he would give you eternal eyes as you face each day longing to know your children.
What could be better than a bible verse with feathers in it?!
ReplyDelete