I have been so weepy today! I told my husband this morning that I feel great for 29 out of 31 days and then I'm overcome by the sadness of our reality. Not that I lose hope, not that I lose faith, I just get sad. There's no other way to say it.He wholeheartedly agrees with the month of of meds, but I'm kinda scared to tell my doctor about it. I have an appointment on Monday and I'll see him. I have a feeling that he will suggest IVF and I'll will rebut with a "I want a month off." Not a month off where I take birth control pills...Just a month off. I hope I can have the courage to say what I need to say and not feel pressured by anyone.
Can I vent for a second? I'm so tired of advice. I am SOOOO tired of advice. I know that people mean well and they love me, but I wish that they would realize that I would rather them tell me "I don't know what to say to you right now" than to give me UNSOLICITED advice. I don't care what your second cousin's best friend's dog sitter's mother did to get pregnant. If I wanted to know, I would ask you! 1. Tired of advice.
2. Tired of the false hope. Things I don't want to hear: "this is your month", "I have a good feeling", and the mother of all false hopes: "It WILL happen". You don't know and if you could tell the future I would be asking for lotto numbers, not pregnancy advice. What I want to hear, "I'm praying for you", "If you need to talk: I'm here", or even "I don't know what to say right now."
Don't get me wrong: I am sooooo blessed by the people that God has placed in my life, but sometimes I am more hurt by these things than helped. Not that I want people around me to be Debbie-Downers or anything, but I am a realist. I am a faith + fact driven realist.
3. I don't know if I want to do IVF and I'm praying it out and I'm researching it out and if I say that I don't know why I don't want to do IVF just drop the subject. It is too early for me to talk about it and all it does is make more opportunities for unsolicited advice and opinions.
Ok, vent is over. If you are still reading, thanks for sticking with me.
I hope everyone is having a great day so far and I'm looking forward to our "game night" tonight. I plan on playing a lot of Apples to Apples!! :o)
So my verse of the day....
"Weeping may remain for a night, but REJOICING comes in the morning" or as the Message says...
"The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter"
Psalm 30:5
Psalm 30:5
I'm so sorry Rachel about AF! :( It is such a crappy feeling.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about peoples advice and especially the false hope stuff. Sometimes I feel like people are jinxing me when they tell me things like, "I have a good feeling. I just know this is your time." It is nice of them to say those things...but I feel like I am also letting them down when I tell them bad news.
Anyway, enjoy your month off and I hope you get to feeling better soon!
Praying for you. I honestly don't know God's plan but He has one for sure. From experience, all I'll say is be open to something expected. He has your best interest at heart ;)
ReplyDeleteI feel you on the unsolicited advice. =( And for me IVF is scary too. I don't want to think/talk about it yet either and right now we say we don't want to do it. Obviously things could change but right now it's too scary to talk about. I hope your appt goes well and your RE listens to what you want to do. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteOh I feel your pain! It takes all of my energy to politely smile at those people and change the subject. I don't understand why people think it is going to help us by asking if we have tried _______ or telling me that if I just relax it will happen or by telling me that they know of so many people who have adopted and then gotten pregnant. Why do they think this is helpful information to share with us? Sigh...I am glad I have Jesus in my life because if I didn't...I definitely would have said some not very nice things to some of these "advice" givers!
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